Natalie Wright Celebrant Blog

Thank you, Bride and Groom Magazine for this article.

Today’s modern bride and groom have to consider more than just the wedding venue, celebrant and canapés. Now, it’s wise to have a ‘social media policy’ in the lead-up to your big day.

Are you happy with Auntie Glenis posting that precious photo of your first married kiss on Facebook? Or would you rather wait to share a professional pic? And, of course, you may not want your maid of honour giving a play-by-play account of the festivities on Twitter. Whether you’re a new media junkie or don’t even have an email address, the reality is that most of your guests will be connected to some form of social media. To ensure your big day isn’t ‘shared’ in ways you’re unhappy with, you’ll need to set some ground rules.

TO POST OR NOT TO POST?

Your officiant or MC can convey your wishes in regards to social media as your guests take their seats before the ceremony. You may want them to refrain from posting any photos at all. If that’s the case, request that they ask your permission first, or even hold off until you have shared your professional photos.

On the other hand, if you’re a serious social media devotee, you may like to enlist a ‘tweeter of honour’ to post real-time photos and updates to your account – you could even cement your love in cyberspace and update your Facebook status to ‘married’ as soon as you’ve signed the wedding register.

When it comes to the reception speeches, however, your MC could suggest a ‘circle of trust’ pact where ‘what’s said in this room, stays in this room’ – particularly regarding that hilarious best man’s speech!

HASH IT OUT

Sometimes great candid photos are captured by your guests. To ensure you have access to these gems, get your guests to hashtag them. Set up a sign at the ceremony or reception venue with your chosen hashtag – eg #KimandBensWedding – and ask them to include this when posting wedding photos online.

Social media expert Celia Crosbie of Scope Media says hashtagging is a fun, easily accessible way to share photos and information with your guests. ‘By selecting a personalised wedding hashtag, you’re reaching your identified audience,’ she says. ‘If you want to add “#Love” for example, this brings you into lines of communication with people you don’t know. This may or may not appeal to you of course, but it’s something to consider.’

SHARE THE LOVE

Want all your guests’ photos but don’t fancy them plastered on mainstream social media? Ask them to download WedPics. It’s a free photo-sharing app that lets you create a private wedding ID for attendees to post photos and videos to. There’s the option to share content with Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, but you can also block your guests from doing so.

WEB ETIQUETTE

If you’re a guest at a wedding, it goes without saying that social media networking should be kept to a minimum, and it’s important to respect the bride and groom’s wishes on how much of their wedding is made public. However, if these haven’t been communicated, it’s courtesy to ask their permission before revealing any details of their day online. Plus, make sure you don’t get in the way of the professional photographer as you take your snaps

What you need to know when planning your ceremony.

Here are a few things you need to know when arranging to get married.

First things first: Get a marriage certificate.

Before you get married, you need to apply for a marriage licence. This confirms it’s legal for you to marry. A marriage license costs $150. What you need to know:

• You need to arrange your licence at least 3 working days before you get married.
• It expires after 3 months.
• Only one of you needs to complete the application, but you need information about both of you.
• You need to give your celebrant 2 copies of the ‘Copy of Particulars of Marriage’ or ‘Copy of Particulars of Civil Union’. You must also show the marriage licence to your celebrant before they marry you. Note: This isn’t the same as the marriage license.

Apply for your marriage license here.

What do you need to know when applying for your marriage cert? Decide what type of ceremony are you planning and where.

A registry ceremony:

This is limited to 20 guests, and you must check with the celebrant.

Cost:

• $150 for the licence (as arranged by you), and
• $90 for the ceremony — this is a set fee and is paid to the celebrant on the day of the ceremony.
• Note: The ceremony must take place Monday – Friday 8.30 am – 5.00 pm – Please check with me on availability as I am seldom available these hours, but you never know your luck.
• It will be performed with standard vows.
• Your ceremony has to be with a registry celebrant at an agreed-on location.
• You must have two witnesses to sign the wedding certificate.

A personalised ceremony:

Cost:

• $150 for the licence (as arranged by you), and
• the amount the celebrant charges for the ceremony — I charge my own fees – please request a quote.
• It can be performed with standard or bespoke vows.
• Your ceremony can be anywhere you agree with your celebrant.
• You must have two witnesses to sign the wedding certificate.

You can be your witnesses.

Your 2 witnesses must understand what’s happening during the ceremony. They must be able to clearly identify both of you and be satisfied you both consent to the marriage.

They:

• don’t need to have known you for any specific length of time and
• can be children of any age, as long as they understand the nature of the ceremony and are able to demonstrate that understanding in court if required.

If the witnesses speak a different language to you, you’ll need an interpreter. The interpreter has to sign a declaration before the ceremony to say they’ll interpret what you say accurately. Find that declaration here.

Vows:

Depending on the ceremony you choose you to have, there is a choice of vows.

Your vows must meet the requirements for a marriage or civil union.

In a marriage ceremony, couples can write their own vows as long as they say “I [name] take you [partner’s name], to be my legal [wife/husband/partner]”, or something similar, to each other at some point in the ceremony.

Here is an example of standard vows.

In a civil union ceremony, the couple must make a statement to each other that names both people and acknowledges they are freely joining in a civil union with each other.

Here is an example of Civil Union vows.

I am an experienced copywriter so am well versed to assist you with writing your vows – have a chat with me if you need a few tips or just a friendly chat on what will work. I am absolutely happy to help.

After your vows.

You both sign the “Copy of particulars of marriage” with your pre-marriage names

Your witnesses sign the same document.

Your celebrant will give you one “Copy of particulars of marriage” and use the other copy to register your marriage with the NZ government.